No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
