so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
