He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
