okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
