I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
