I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I fill condoms, not promises.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
