Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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