I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
