so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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