Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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