But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Randomize
