so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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