saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
