how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
