Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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