Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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