I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
