five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
