you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
