do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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