no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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