my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
