Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Randomize
