you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
