That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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