I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
