We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
