also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
