You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm passing your future prison.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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