my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
