You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
