Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
