let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
