the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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