Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
