I wish I only lived at night.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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