im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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