never play flip cup with pint glasses
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
