And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
