What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
