Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
