Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
