I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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