what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
