Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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