we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
