on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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