Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
