He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she told me i tasted like america
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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