Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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